DBmAGDBmAGGm [Verse 1]
DBmAG Walking around, I've got no one to talk to
DBmAG There's everyone, and then there's just me
DBmAG If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it
DBmAG God only knows why he cursed me to be
Gm a straight white male
 [Bridge]
Bm I state my problems
F#G other people roll their eyes
Bm Three trips to the mall
F#G and zero khakis in my size
Bm I've never been the victim
F#G of a random search for drugs
DBm But you can't say my life is easy
GAD until you've walked a mile in my UGGs
 [Chorus]
GADGAD Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
F# The women want rights
BmG The gays want kids
Gm Can't you just leave us alone?
And also, no, to the things you asked for DBmAGDBmAGGm [Verse 2]
DBmAG Everyone thinks that I've got it easy
DBmAG Just 'cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right
DBmAG So pull up a chair, and put down your pitchfork
DBmAG Give me a chance to show you what it's like
Gm to be a straight white male
 [Bridge 2]
Bm The churches never made me
F#G Feel ashamed of who I am
Bm But I get e-mails from Netflix
F#G that g-mail doesn't mark as spam
Bm My country's Constitution was
F#G hand-written by my race
DBm But my wife bought me the brand new iPhone
GAD with an iPod Touch's case (it doesn't fit that phone)
 [Chorus]
GADGAD Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
F# The women want rights
BmG The blacks want not to be called the blacks
Gm Can't you just leave us alone?
F# And also, no, to the things you asked for
Nooooooo GF#Bm (x6) [Chorus]
GADGAD Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
F# The women want rights
BmG The African-Ameri-it doesn't work for the rhythm of this song
Gm We used to have all the money and land
We still do but it's not as fun now