[Intro] Chord progression is C, G, then A quick Am, G, F. Then G. [Verse]
AmFCG The books you think I wrote are way too thick
AmFCG Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
AmFCG And I don't watch you when you sleep
AmFCEmF Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a fucking creep
 [Chorus]
AmGF You're not going to heaven
AmGF Why the fuck did you think I'd ever kick it with you
AmG None of you are going to heaven
FAmGF There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
F FF FF F [Bridge]
AmGAmGF You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
F FF FF F
AmGC You shouldn't rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do
Chord progression is C, G, then a quick Am, G, F. Then G through him speaking: (It's pretty obvious just don't fucking rape people
 [Verse]
AmFCG I don't think masturbation is obscene
AmFCGAm It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
FCG You make my job a living hell
AmFC I sent gays to fix overpopulation
GF Didn't that go well
 [Chorus]
AmGF You're not going to heaven
AmGF Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
AmGF None of you are going to heaven
AmGF You're not my children you're a bad game of sims
F FF FF F [Bridge]
AmGAmGF You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to
F FF FF F
AmGC You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit
 [Verse]
AmFCG You argue and you bicker and you fight
AmFCGAm Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
FCG Over what they think is true
AmFCGF But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
 [Chorus]
AmGF You pray so badly for heaven
AmGF knowing any day may be the day that you die
AmGF But maybe life on earth could be heaven
AmGF Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try
F FF FF F
FCFG My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
CF C(x2) G And when you earn it you won't need it
AmGAmGF I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to
AmGC If you want love then the love is gonna come from you