Jillian was her name
Jillian adalah namanya
She was sweeter than aspartame
Dia lebih manis dari pemanis buatan
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
Ciumannya mengubah DNA saya
And after that I never was the same
Dan setelah itu, saya tidak pernah sama lagi

And I loved her even more
Dan saya mencintainya bahkan lebih
Than Marlon Brando loved souffle
Dari Marlon Brando mencintai souffle
She was gorgeous, she was charming
Dia cantik, dia menawan
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Ya, dia sempurna dalam segala hal

Except she was always using the word "infer"
Kecuali dia selalu menggunakan kata "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
Saat dia jelas-jelas maksudnya "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
Dan saya tahu beberapa orang akan mentolerir hal seperti itu
But frankly, I can't imagine why
Tapi jujur, saya tidak bisa membayangkan kenapa

And I told her, I said
Dan saya bilang padanya, saya berkata
"Hey! Are we playing horseshoes, honey?
"Hei! Apakah kita bermain paku kuda, sayang?
No, I don't think we are!
Tidak, saya rasa tidak!
You're close! (Close!)
Kamu dekat! (Dekat!)
But no cigar!"
Tapi tidak dapat hadiah!

Then I met sweet young Janet
Kemudian saya bertemu Janet yang manis
Prettiest thing on the planet
Hal terindah di planet ini
Had a body hotter than a habanjero
Memiliki tubuh lebih panas dari cabai habanero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
Dia punya bibir seperti delima yang matang

And I was crazy like Manson about her
Dan saya gila seperti Manson padanya
She got me all choked up like Momma Cass
Dia membuat saya tersedak seperti Momma Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
Dia punya senyum yang sangat bersinar
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
Kamu harus melihatnya melalui kaca asap

I thought after all these years of searching around
Saya pikir setelah bertahun-tahun mencari
I'd found my soulmate finally
Saya akhirnya menemukan belahan jiwa saya
But one day I found OUT she actually owned a copy
Tapi suatu hari saya tahu dia punya salinan
Of Joe Dirt on DVD
Dari Joe Dirt di DVD

Oh, no! I said
Oh, tidak! Saya berkata
"Hey! Are we lobbing hand grenades, kiddo?
"Hei! Apakah kita melempar granat, nak?
No I don't think we are!
Tidak, saya rasa tidak!
You're close! (Close!)
Kamu dekat! (Dekat!)
Oh, so very close! (Close!)
Oh, sangat dekat! (Dekat!)
Yeah, baby, you're close! (Close!)
Ya, sayang, kamu dekat! (Dekat!)
So close!
Begitu dekat!
But no cigar!"
Tapi tidak dapat hadiah!

(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, ya!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, tidak!)
(Oh, yeah!)
(Oh, ya!)
(Oh, no!)
(Oh, tidak!)
(ALL RIGHT!)
(BAIKLAH!)

[Hand claps, trumpet solo]
[Kepalan tangan, solo terompet]

Julie played water polo
Julie bermain polo air
She wore a ribbon on her left manolo
Dia mengenakan pita di manolo kirinya
She had me sweating like Nixon every time she was near
Dia membuat saya berkeringat seperti Nixon setiap kali dia dekat
My heart was beating like a Buddy Rif solo
Jantung saya berdetak seperti solo Buddy Rif

And she was everything I've dreamed of
Dan dia adalah segalanya yang saya impikan
She moved right up to #1 on my list
Dia langsung naik ke posisi #1 dalam daftar saya
And did I mention she's a world famous billionaire
Dan apakah saya sudah menyebutkan bahwa dia seorang miliarder terkenal di dunia
Bikini supermodel astrophysicist
Supermodel bikini astrofisika

Yeah, she was so pretty she made Charlize Theron
Ya, dia begitu cantik sampai membuat Charlize Theron
Look like a big fat slobbering pig
Terlihat seperti babi besar yang menggelinding
The only caveat is one of her earlobes
Satu-satunya catatan adalah salah satu daun telinganya
Was just a little tiny bit too big
Hanya sedikit terlalu besar

I said
Saya bilang
"Hey! Are we doing government work here?
"Hei! Apakah kita melakukan pekerjaan pemerintah di sini?
No I don't think we are!
Tidak, saya rasa tidak!
You're close! (Close!)
Kamu dekat! (Dekat!)
So very, very close! (Close!)
Sangat, sangat dekat! (Dekat!)
Aaw, baby, you're close! (Close!)
Aaw, sayang, kamu dekat! (Dekat!)
So close!
Begitu dekat!
But no cigar!"
Tapi tidak dapat hadiah!

Missed it by that much! (No cigar!)
Hampir saja! (Tidak dapat hadiah!)
Ah, yeah! Ah, right! (No cigar!)
Ah, ya! Ah, benar! (Tidak dapat hadiah!)
Really, really, really close! (No cigar!)
Sangat, sangat, sangat dekat! (Tidak dapat hadiah!)
But no cigar!
Tapi tidak dapat hadiah!