Lirik Shriner's Convention

Ray Stevens

Here they come down main street, drums a flailin' and the sirens a wailin', what a roar
Bands are a playin' and flags are a waivin, and the Vanguard's and Motorcycle Corps
Clowns are a clownin' to the crowd and pinchin' every pretty girl who dares to smile
It's a glorious mess, everybody wears a fez the parade stretches out for a mile

Chorus

It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time
It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order
Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine
Girls

Meanwhile back at the Motel.....
Spoken

"Hello, Operator, give me room 321, please, thank you Hello, Noble Lumpkin? This here is the illustrious Potentate. I said it's the illustrious Potentate. The illustrious...Coy! Dad blame it! This here's Bubba! Coy, why an't you at the parade?! What?! Well, how'd you get that big Harley up there in your room? What?! I can't hear ya' Coy! Quit revvin' it up, son! Turn it off! Listen I just want you to know one thing. You have embarrassed us all, the whole Hahira Delegation! Now I'll see you at the banquet tonight, son. And you be there Coy, you hear me? Black tie! Seven o'clock! Be there! And Coy, don't answer the phone, udden udden! Mercy"
Well, it was all arranged by the Ladies Auxiliary in the downtown Convention Hall
Cold Roast Beef, String Beans, Mashed Potatoes and nine boring speeches in all
And all the tables looked fine with their Mogen David Wine and Chrysanthemums on each side
And the Hahira leaders in their rented Tuxedos made the local hearts swell with pride

Chorus

It's a typical American phenomenon where all the members have a fine old time
It's the forty-third annual Convention of the Grand Mystic Royal Order
Of the Nobles of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine
Girls

Meanwhile back at the Motel.....
Spoken

"Operator, 321, please. Thank You. Hello, Coy? What are you doin'?! What do you mean, who