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[Verse 1] 
EbEbEbEb Do you want your girl to love you? Do you want her to be your beau?
EbEbBbEb I'll tell you how to do boys, I'll tell you all I know.
EbEbEbEb Put on your bibs and pucker, And scrub your face real hard
EbEbBbEb Part your hair in the middle boys, And slick it down with lard.
EbEbEbEb Put your derby hat on sideways, Pull your pegged-up pants up short.
EbEbBbEb Get a red bowtie on a rubber band, And show her you're a sport
EbEbEbEb Get yourself some drugstore perfurme, And sprinkle it on your clothes
EbEbBbEb A dime's worth would be plenty boys, Just to tickle her little nose.
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[Verse 3] 
EbEbEbEb Grease your buggy and your harness, And curry your trottin' mare.
EbEbFEb Then buy a pretty lap rope, boys, And get your lady fair.
EbEbEbEb Tie a ribbon on your buggy whip. Get a pair of yellow gloves.
EbEbBbEb And take her to the county fair, And buy her what she loves.
EbEbEbEb Tell her she is purtier, Than a movie acteress.
EbEbBbEb Talk about her purty curls, And about her handsome dress.
EbEbEbEb Get yourself a gold front tooth, And a Sears and Roebuck ring.
EbEbBbEb Buy a double-noted harmonica, And learn to play and sing.
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[Verse 5] 
EbEbEbEb And if she does not love you boy, Just make her jealous then
EbEbBbEb Tell her you love somebody else, And she is just a friend.
EbEbEbEb Take her out to the dances, And flirt with the other girls
EbEbBbEb Hug 'em close, and whisper soft, And give them all the whirl.
EbEbEbEb Laugh out loud with the others, And your girl don't you speak
EbEbBbEb And when she comes around you boys, turn from her your cheeck.
EbEbEbEb Jut follow these directions and she will be your wife.
EbEbBbEb Or else she'll marry somebody else and hate you all her life!
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