[Verse 1]
E A
Tonight at ten
C#m
The world's ending again
B
And we know why and when
E
So you better watch
A
We got a bit
C#m
With some feminist chick
B
And also a picture
E
Of a Scarlet's crotch
A
Two people died
C#m
A double homicide
B
Their bodies found inside
E
Of a wishing well
A
And we tackle the flaws
C#m
In these obesity laws
B
In this segment that's sponsored
E
By Taco Bell
[Bridge 1]
A
We've got violence,
C#m
Danger, sex, and drugs
B
And it's awesome
E
'Cause all of it's real
A
We do the illusion of news
C#m
And while you think
B
You're choosing the views
(No Chord)
[Chorus]
B B
All of this and more and live, only on the Channel Five
E C#m G#m
News, ews, ews,
G#m
Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)
[Verse 2]
E A
Chip Walker here
C#m
Am I coming in clear?
B
I'm standing near
E
To the scene of the crime
A
This Iraqi guy's shop
C#m
Seemed a newsworthy spot
B
So we've been gathering shots here
E
For quite some time
A
Today real fast
C#m
The owner's daughter passed
B
We grabbed a shot of her ass
E
While the owner was near
A
Then he struck my chest
C#m
And now he's under arrest
B
And now you people have one less
E
Man to fear
[Bridge 2]
A
This family's angry, crying,
C#m
Sad, and lost
B
And it's awesome
E
'Cause all of it's real
A
We do the illusion of news
C#m
And while you think
B
You're choosing the views
(No Chord)
[Chorus]
B B
All of this and more and live, only on the Channel Five
E C#m G#m
News, ews, ews,
G#m
Only on the Channel Five (Repeat chorus starting from "Only" three more times)
[Verse 3]
E
Good evening, hi
C#m
It's your weather guy
D#
I advise you to buy
Gm
Another lightning rod
E
We didn't catch
C#m
This impending disaster
D#
Maybe it's natural
Gm
Maybe it's God
E
The sliding mud
C#m
The incoming flood
D#
Will never wash the blood
Gm
From my greedy old hands!
E
This job was fun
C#m
I had a pretty good run
D#
But I've never been one
Gm
To give into demands
[Bridge 3]
E
People are angry, crying,
C#m
Sad, and lost
D#
And it's awful
Gm
'Cause all of it's real
E
We do the illusion of news
C#m
And while you think
D#
You're choosing the views
That you feel
D#
All of this and more all live
D#
Only on the Channel Five,
D#
Only on the Channel Five
D#
On-on-on-WE'RE BACK!
