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Lirik Lagu Can't Con An Honest John - The Streets

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Using the following, I'm going to show you:
A) How to con someone using their own greed,B) That you won't feel bad 'cos they're trying to con you anyway, andC) TAKING THEIR MONEY!
As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.
This scam only works 'cos that man thinks he's working this scamAnd that you man off his markGet your mate, let's call your mate PiersNo, not Piers, let's call him FarquharAnyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dogLike I said, the barman will try and con you laterbut you're gonna take all his money.Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local barAnd call to the bar to look after a dog for a dartJust for 20 quid for a while, claiming that he hated itBut it was worth more than his carThis, by the way, requires that you find and supply FarquharWith an animal, and a life, from your local park.Get a nice dog that doesn't barkBut not so nice that someone might miss this mutt from the park
Anyway, using this technique you're gonna take all this man's moneyBut you're not gonna care, cos he's gonna fucking deserve it
[Chorus]You'll never con an Honest JohnAn Honest John you can't drag down (Exactly!)Con-do-lee get connedWhen they think they're the cunning one (It's all one big con)Neighbour you won't conAn Honest John
Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the barAnd just shop for some garm's, maybeJust to pass an hour or soI would go shopping cos' I gave up drinkingBut whatever, just have Farquhar down the roadNow you walk in the bar, walk up to the barmanOrder a jar, when you've caught him slouched on his ownStart eyeing the dog that he's minding by his sideCurrently vibe him and start on about the dog you own.Start asking the barman, if it's his fine specimen of a dogNod, smile, agree, look interested and coolWhen he tells you it's someone else's you've just left previousTell him, 'This is a very rare breed of animal.'Last time I lied my manager swiped meBut lie, and tell him it's like a fucking Red-Eared Hunting Spaniel.Tell him it's worth 600 quid and you would pay handsomely if you were to accept finance at all
[Chorus]You'll never con an Honest John (Sometimes...)An Honest John you can't drag down (...Sometimes I think I should just go completely...)Condolee get connedWhen they think they're the cunning oneNeighbour you won't con an Honest John (Keep listening though, it's important that you keep listening...)
Now take all his shopping off himGet your mate Farquhar to pop inLooking straight gutted a bit later onHe should order a jar, talk at the barEnsure he looks calm, warm with the barmanAnd generally start conversating on.Farquhar should start falling apartAbout how he's arsed up some chanceAnd how arsed up his day was.Or in the event, the spread betting he's getting ready to acceptThat his rent's not getting payed up.The barmans mind will chime slowly for a whileHe might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums.Farquhar should continue to moan about moneyAnd that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries.And like 'ching!', the barman will five out of six timesKindly offer his greed to buy the dog for a price of 300 quidAnd after some bartering, your barman will haggle and charge harderIn greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That's right, neighbour!)
You'll never con an Honest JohnAn Honest John you can't drag downCondolee get connedWhen they think they're the cunning one(The barman, is gonna see how much he can stitch you up for.)Neighbour you won't con an Honest John(How does that work? Cos' everytime it's based around someone who thinks they're conning you.)
They'll never imagine the whole scenario is prepared solely for himWhy should he?That sort of paranoia can get you in the loony bin!
As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people's confidence.AND THAN TAKING THEIR MONEY!
It's all one big con.