Lirik Lagu Child Stars on Your Television - Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
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Former child stars are people tooThey're the sameAs you and you and you
So we ask this simple question, how can it beThat you occasionallyDon't respect their dignity?
'Cause as they make their way through lifeLong after the spotlights fadedThere are things some of you doThat make them want to be sedated
We loved being child stars on your televisionBut please stop giving us crapOr we'll have a head-on collision
Thank you for letting me in your living roomsTo entertain you before bedBut if one more person calls me MarciaI'll bust his fucking head
She's very grateful, just like she saidBut please don't call her MarciaOr she'll bust your freaking head
Hey, I'd rather be called Marcia than Screech!
So I'm sitting alone in Arby'sI get questions that make me see red(Hey Eddie! Where's Herman Munster?)Well pal, for ten years he's been dead
They ask, "Hey Lucy, where's J.R.?"Come on, y'all, be realistic.
One more "Hey Joanie, where's Chachi" and I'll go ballistic!
Our costars are not on our speed dialSo please don't askOr we'll take that phone and shove itRight up your dumb fat ass
No, we don't ride in fancy limosPrivate jets, they're not for usSo you may see us driving NeonsOr riding the Greyhound bus
Yeah, we live just like all of youSo don't call us losersOr we'll punch you with so many rightsYou'll be begging for lefts
And beggars can't be choosers!
I was on Teen Beat with Michael JacksonNow he's bigger, I suppose (yeah, yeah)Though he may be a multi-zillionaireAt least I still have my nose
At least we're not crazyWe don't sleep with chimpanzeesWe don't bleach our skinOr dangle babies from balconies
We loved being child stars on your television
But misbehave and we'll bust your headGee, Wally, was it something they said?
Child stars on your television
Most of us have nothing to loseSo we'll put your butt on the 5:00 news
Child stars on your television
We don't know karate but we do know crazyWe'll beat you so bad, your future will be hazy
Child stars on your television
Don't ever say, "Didn't you used to be...?"Or I'll put your head through a vintage TV
Child stars on your television
Eight rehabs isn't enoughBut I've done and seen the most killer stuff
Child stars on your television
You want an autograph but I'ma tell you thisDon't ask a brother when he's taking a piss
Child stars on your television
You can dance like me, you can dance like Mickey!I'll hurt you real bad, you can take it from Kenickie
Now of course we've been kiddingThis has all been in funWe're happy you still love us, after our shows have gone
But please just follow our simple rulesOr we'll beat you like rented mules...(hah!)
We loved being child stars on your television(Child stars)Child stars!
(End Credits)
All right you guys, thanks for coming.Let's skedoodle.All right, that's seriously the end.People in the back, beat it.We know you left your popcorn.That's fine. Someone will get it.And quit pretending like you're reading the credits.They're so small, and we're pushing them by so fast.We don't even know who these people are.It's some contract thing.Who was that?Was that one of you guys, or was that me?That was me.Got a little bite in it.Come on, that's funny.
So we ask this simple question, how can it beThat you occasionallyDon't respect their dignity?
'Cause as they make their way through lifeLong after the spotlights fadedThere are things some of you doThat make them want to be sedated
We loved being child stars on your televisionBut please stop giving us crapOr we'll have a head-on collision
Thank you for letting me in your living roomsTo entertain you before bedBut if one more person calls me MarciaI'll bust his fucking head
She's very grateful, just like she saidBut please don't call her MarciaOr she'll bust your freaking head
Hey, I'd rather be called Marcia than Screech!
So I'm sitting alone in Arby'sI get questions that make me see red(Hey Eddie! Where's Herman Munster?)Well pal, for ten years he's been dead
They ask, "Hey Lucy, where's J.R.?"Come on, y'all, be realistic.
One more "Hey Joanie, where's Chachi" and I'll go ballistic!
Our costars are not on our speed dialSo please don't askOr we'll take that phone and shove itRight up your dumb fat ass
No, we don't ride in fancy limosPrivate jets, they're not for usSo you may see us driving NeonsOr riding the Greyhound bus
Yeah, we live just like all of youSo don't call us losersOr we'll punch you with so many rightsYou'll be begging for lefts
And beggars can't be choosers!
I was on Teen Beat with Michael JacksonNow he's bigger, I suppose (yeah, yeah)Though he may be a multi-zillionaireAt least I still have my nose
At least we're not crazyWe don't sleep with chimpanzeesWe don't bleach our skinOr dangle babies from balconies
We loved being child stars on your television
But misbehave and we'll bust your headGee, Wally, was it something they said?
Child stars on your television
Most of us have nothing to loseSo we'll put your butt on the 5:00 news
Child stars on your television
We don't know karate but we do know crazyWe'll beat you so bad, your future will be hazy
Child stars on your television
Don't ever say, "Didn't you used to be...?"Or I'll put your head through a vintage TV
Child stars on your television
Eight rehabs isn't enoughBut I've done and seen the most killer stuff
Child stars on your television
You want an autograph but I'ma tell you thisDon't ask a brother when he's taking a piss
Child stars on your television
You can dance like me, you can dance like Mickey!I'll hurt you real bad, you can take it from Kenickie
Now of course we've been kiddingThis has all been in funWe're happy you still love us, after our shows have gone
But please just follow our simple rulesOr we'll beat you like rented mules...(hah!)
We loved being child stars on your television(Child stars)Child stars!
(End Credits)
All right you guys, thanks for coming.Let's skedoodle.All right, that's seriously the end.People in the back, beat it.We know you left your popcorn.That's fine. Someone will get it.And quit pretending like you're reading the credits.They're so small, and we're pushing them by so fast.We don't even know who these people are.It's some contract thing.Who was that?Was that one of you guys, or was that me?That was me.Got a little bite in it.Come on, that's funny.
