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Lirik Lagu If I Owned A Midget - Benefit

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(intro)I picked up this midget you know he's very very well dressedItalian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blondIs it a- a lady midgetNo the guy was a midget the blond was a ladyOh the- I get itThose midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I'd like to hold a midgetI mean they're funnyThey always wanna sit in the front seat- Word
(verse 1)Life's got me madBut if I had a midget I'd be gladTo watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpadHe'd have a big head short legs and long torsoThe name that I give my pet midget is little GordoI'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicksWhen company came over he'd perform and get tipsWhile I'm eatin at night, in the kitchen he'd be ableTo get the food scraps that I threw under the tableIf my midget was ever mad and acted enragedThen I'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cageBut If he kept acting up and really made me sickI'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stickLittle Gordo would be good most of the time thoughHe'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling KaiyoI'd take him for walks in the park on the weekendsAnd if he saw other midgets he'd say Can we be friendsHe'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was deadAnd he'd be in the guiness book for the world's biggest headWhat a funny little fellow, but don't call him a shrimpOr he'll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimpHe'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hoursAnd dirty little fathead Gordo would'nt take showersWhen Halloween came, he wouldn't be a chump
Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump
(scratching/chorus)Midget is a midgetMidget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-MidgetMidget is a midgetHey you guys- WordMidget is a midgetMidget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-MidgetMidget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midgetLike a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes
(vers